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[TECHNO-ROCK MUSIC BLASTING]
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Who has that much fun?
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What kind of idiot can have that much fun?
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Is he oblivious or just plain stupid?
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You know, I have excellent hearing.
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You can speak much, much lower.
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Hey, wait a minute.
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That's Jerrold, my old work colleague.
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Now it all makes sense.
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He is AN IDIOT.
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[YELLING]: Well, well, if it isn't my old co-worker, Dilbert.
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Hey, old buddy, how they hanging?
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I'd rather not answer that.
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Suit yourself.
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I haven't seen you
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since you got fired for gross incompetence.
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Well, as you can see,
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incompetence is paying very well these days.
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[ENGINE REVVING]
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I'm revving too.
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You just can't hear it because it's an electric car.
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Yeah?
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Mine's not!
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You seem to be doing very well.
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What kind of drugs are YOU DEALING?
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Oh, I'm still an engineer
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just like you.
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Ouch.
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You are?
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It's too bad you stayed at your company
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instead of trying the open market for engineers.
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We're quite in demand, as you can see... and hear.
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I'm revving again.
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At my new job,
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I've made millions in stock options.
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It's casual day every DAY...
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Beer blasts on Fridays...
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I get free massages at my desk--
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a mahogany desk,
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which happens to be in a private office!
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[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
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[LAUGHING CONTINUES]
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Come on, turn already.
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Eat my dust, Turtle-boy!
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You can pull into the intersection.
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No cops for miles.
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You can't violate the law
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just because you know you won't get caught.
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Trust me, that's the best TIME.
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Mommy!
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[SCREAMING]
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Down periscope.
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The weird thing is that I'm jealous of him
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and yet I hate him,
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which means if I became like him,
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I would hate myself.
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Logically, then, I must want TO HATE MYSELF.
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I'll make the engine noise if you just shut up and drive.
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Deal.
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Vroom...
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Vroom...
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Vroom...
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Do you think I'm a loser
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because I stay with my company?
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Yes.
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It's just that one REASON.
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Thank you.
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I think.
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Engine...
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DOGBERT: Oh, sorry.
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Vroom, vroom.
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Vroom.
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[EXPLOSION]
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[music]
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[CHANTING]
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[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
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DILBERT: So, just because
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he's got millions in stock options
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and lives a life of wealth and opulence
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essentially doing the same job I do
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doesn't mean he's happy,
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and even if he is HAPPY, IS THAT THE GOAL?
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Good point-- touche.
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Now, get out.
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I come here every day
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because I'm challenged by my job.
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I find a sense of fulfillment
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that no material object could ever...
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Don't wait up.
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[TIRES SQUEALING]
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I can never make it do that.
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Hey, be careful with the car!
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I ran into Jerrold, our old co-worker, yesterday.
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The only person ever to be fired
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from this company for incompetence?
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He's working for some other company now.
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What's that?
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It is an old sponge.
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On my salary as an intern,
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I cannot afford to waste anything.
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I didn't know a person could live on sponges.
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This one has absorbed many food-related stains.
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It would be a shame to throw it away.
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Mm... mm...
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As I was saying,
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Jerrold is making a fortune working for this other company.
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Dishwater from last night.
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It makes a delicious beverage.
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[GULPING]
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[CHEWING NOISILY]
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So I'm wondering if we're missing the boat
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by staying at this company.
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[BELCHES]
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Excuse me.
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According to Jerrold,
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engineers are worth a lot of money now.
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We could leave this place
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and be treated like rock stars.
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I don't know who this Jerrold fellow is,
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but there are no engineering jobs
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outside this company--
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None, zero, zippo, Zorro, mulch.
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You lost me on "Zorro."
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You've never heard of Zorro?
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Not in this context.
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You ought to try reading a book once in a while.
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I think you're lying.
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All right, you got me. I've never read a book either.
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I also have no idea who Zorro is.
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No, I mean about the engineering jobs.
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Really? How can you tell?
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When you lie... you're bald.
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As I was saying,
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there are no other engineering jobs anywhere.
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May I ask why you're wearing a lobster bib?
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And why don't we ever see managers eating
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in the cafeteria?
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Where do YOU GO TO EAT?
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Managers don't eat.
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Come on! Work with me!
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I think the managers have
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some sort of secret executive dining room.
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That is the most ridiculous thing
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I have ever... if you...
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An executive dining room?
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Get a load of...
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Well, I never...
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Sorry, wrong vending machine.
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You're late.
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Were you followed?
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They don't suspect a thing... Good.
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But there's been a breach in security.
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The engineers found out they can get jobs
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at other companies.
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How could that happen?
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Brewster, we still control the media, don't we?
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Yes, thanks to our generous advertising budget.
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And we know the engineers have no friends
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to tell them of the outside world?
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I overheard them say
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It came from someone named "Jerrold."
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Last name?
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I didn't catch it.
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Have everyone named Jerrold killed immediately.
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Is that Gerald with a G or Jerrold with a J?
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Can you just kill them all phonetically?
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Right away, sir.
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I have the same problem with clams.
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By the time I eat a dozen of those little guys,
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I'm exhausted.
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You have trouble opening the shells?
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Wh... wh... wh...
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Clams have shells?
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Okay, people, first order of business--
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The J.F.K. Assassination.
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Do we have a status report?
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As you know, our marketing stunt in November of '63
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wherein we assassinated President Kennedy
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to bring attention to our line of pillbox hats
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has continued to have unforeseen repercussions.
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"Repercussions," you say?
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You know, I play the drums.
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Oh, really? Oh, really, you do?
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[MURMURING]
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Well, it's not so much playing
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as it is hitting them with a stick.
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At least, that's what I would DO IF I HAD drums.
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That's what they're for, you know.
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You know, sometimes, I think it might be wrong
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to manipulate world events just to sell women's hats.
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[LAUGHING]
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[ALL LAUGHING]
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Very funny.
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You got me again.
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But, seriously, what about this problem with the engineers?
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We have reports
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of headhunters with lucrative job offers
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getting through the radar.
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[PHONE RINGS]
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Yes?
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Hello... phone number 555-0172.
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Are you or anyone you know an engineer?
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I'm an engineer.
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[WHOOPING]
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Ka-ching!
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I'm an executive recruiter.
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Did you know that as an engineer
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you can get a better job at another company
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with your own personal climbing wall,
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complimentary tai chi classes, and unlimited cappuccino,
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and I can get $20,000 for making this phone call?
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Our company newsletter says
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there are no jobs at other companies.
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If we leave here, we'll die a slow and horrible death.
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It's all described in the sidebar.
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No, no. They're just saying that.
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We have a security breach.
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It's a headhunter. I'm tracing his call.
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Got him.
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Dispatch him in the usual way.
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Very good, sir.
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Hello? Hello?
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Hmm... must've lost the connection.
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Yes, but the damage is done.
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They've heard about the outside world.
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Maybe we could bribe them to stay.
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You know, give them one of those...
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uh... you know... one of those, uh...
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Climbing walls?
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No, no.
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Uh, tai chi classes?
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No!
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Cappuccino makers?
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Uh-uh. Increase in pay?
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Yes! That's it.
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I love guessing games.
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Oh, what number am I thinking of?
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Nah, never mind-- it's a letter.
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No, no, it's not that serious yet.
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That's absolutely a last-ditch measure.
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First, let's try promoting one of the engineers
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to management.
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This will give them all a false impression
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that they have a "career path" with this company.
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But who?
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Upon whom shall we bestow such a lofty mantle?
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What did he say?
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He said "who"?
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[BANGING]
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This darn machine never works.
251
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Nobody ever fixes it.
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There's your new manager.
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Should we give him the soda?
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ALL: Nah...
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Dilbert, I've decided
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to promote you to management.
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What? Why?
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I didn't do anything wrong.
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At least nothing that you know about.
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It's our way of showing the engineers
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that there is a career path at this company.
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No need to go sniffing around on the outside.
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I don't want to be a manager.
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I'm trying to do something nice for you.
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Well, stop it. I don't like it.
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All right.
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You drive a hard bargain.
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I shouldn't do this,
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but I'm assigning you an assistant.
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How about that?
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Let's hear you squawk now.
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I don't want an assistant.
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I don't need AN ASSISTANT.
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I just want to be an engineer.
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Think of it as a perk.
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00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,753
No need to thank me.
277
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,755
Alfonso!
278
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,258
Dilbert, this is Alfonso,
279
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,760
your new assistant.
280
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,762
Yeah. Can I take the rest of the week off?
281
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:37,763
I have allergies.
282
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:39,765
You just started.
283
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,268
Ooh! Crack the whip.
284
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:45,771
Old Zeke.
285
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,273
I thought you were dead.
286
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:50,276
Technically, yeah, but I need the money,
287
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,777
so I'll keep working.
288
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,779
I got the strangest call today.
289
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:56,282
Some guy claimed there are jobs
290
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,284
for engineers outside this company.
291
00:11:58,284 --> 00:11:59,785
I think he was a nut.
292
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:01,787
Oh, there are engineering jobs
293
00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,789
outside this company, all right.
294
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:05,291
Yeah, I seen them.
295
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,292
Really?
296
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:07,293
Those other companies,
297
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,795
they treat an engineer like a prize pig.
298
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,297
I'd like to be treated
299
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:12,798
like a prize pig.
300
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:15,301
I've always wanted to wear a ribbon and oink.
301
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,802
But I don't think
302
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,304
I could ever find another company
303
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,306
that didn't insist I actually work.
304
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,808
I have a pretty good arrangement here.
305
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,310
It doesn't hurt to try.
306
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,812
That hasn't been my experience.
307
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,814
Whenever I TRY, IT HURTS.
308
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,316
I know, I know.
309
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,317
You got me.
310
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,818
That's just something I say.
311
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:34,320
And you know what else?
312
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,821
A watched pot does BOIL.
313
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:36,822
Yeah, I tried it.
314
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,824
Maybe I should at least go to some interviews.
315
00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:41,327
It would be nice to have someone treat me with respect.
316
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,828
They'll wine and dine you
317
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:45,331
and tell you how wonderful you are.
318
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:46,832
Then you can turn them down
319
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,334
before they make you work.
320
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:50,836
Wow, it's like being a pretty woman.
321
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:53,339
I've always wanted to be a pretty woman.
322
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:54,840
More than a prize pig?
323
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,343
You don't get it, do you?
324
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,846
Don't look now,
325
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,848
but there's something following you.
326
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:06,352
That something is my new assistant.
327
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,354
I forgot his name.
328
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,855
And so it begins.
329
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,357
Assistant?
330
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,858
Engineers don't have assistants.
331
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,360
Only managers have assistants.
332
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,863
Uh... I got promoted to management.
333
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,865
You did?
334
00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,367
Not Wally or me?
335
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,368
Wally?
336
00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:23,869
I used Wally's name
337
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,371
to camouflage my own selfish ambitions.
338
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,373
You want TO BE MANAGEMENT?
339
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:28,374
I don't want you TO BE.
340
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:29,875
You try to boss me around,
341
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,878
and they'll have to remove that assistant from you
342
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,380
with forceps.
343
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,382
You got me?
344
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,883
Well, looks like someone
345
00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:39,885
got promoted to management.
346
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:41,887
There but for the grace of God...
347
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,390
I don't see why he gets an assistant
348
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,891
and we don't.
349
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,893
I thought you WERE MY ASSISTANT.
350
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:48,894
I am not YOUR ASSISTANT!
351
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,397
I just do all the work that you don't do
352
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:52,898
because you're too lazy to do it,
353
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,900
and otherwise it wouldn't get done.
354
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,402
It's a fine line.
355
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,404
As God is my witness,
356
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:01,407
I will HAVE AN ASSISTANT SOME DAY.
357
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,409
Well, make sure you get a good one.
358
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:04,410
I don't want someone
359
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,911
doing a bad job on your WORK
360
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:07,413
that was originally my WORK.
361
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,415
Wally, you're a real original,
362
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,916
but just for the heck of it,
363
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,918
let's see if we can make a copy.
364
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:17,423
Help! Help!
365
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,926
Guess not.
366
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:22,928
Paper jam!
367
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:23,929
Hey, is it okay
368
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:25,931
if I bring my piano to work?
369
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,433
No, that is not okay.
370
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,935
What if somebody else brings it in, and I just play it?
371
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:30,936
How about that?
372
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,938
You're supposed to be helping me,
373
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,440
not making my life a burden
374
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,442
with your annoying requests.
375
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:39,445
Well, excuse me for not having a written job description.
376
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,447
I believe that's your JOB TO GIVE ME ONE.
377
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:42,948
You're my assistant.
378
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,950
How hard is that to understand?
379
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:45,951
You assist me.
380
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,454
If you told me to stick my head in a pile of manure,
381
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:49,955
I wouldn't do that.
382
00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:51,457
That wouldn't be assisting me.
383
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,958
Oh, yes. You're right.
384
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:53,959
You're always right.
385
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:54,960
I'm just the assistant.
386
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:55,961
Okay.
387
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:58,464
What if a piano just sort of showed up?
388
00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,465
Would that be okay?
389
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,966
No piano!
390
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:03,969
Is this a bad time to talk about a raise?
391
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:09,475
I want you to make Asok my assistant.
392
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:13,979
If I made Asok your assistant, it would destroy his tiny ego.
393
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:15,481
So you'll do it?
394
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,483
I'll need more than that.
395
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:18,984
Help me help you.
396
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:20,486
All right, let's see.
397
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,987
It would breed resentment
398
00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:23,989
throughout the entire employee population?
399
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:25,491
Uh-huh.
400
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,992
Nice.
401
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:28,994
You make a strong case.
402
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:31,497
Are you thinking?
403
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,499
No, I'm toying with you.
404
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:36,001
All right, I'll do it-- on one condition.
405
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:37,002
Name it.
406
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,504
I have to be there
407
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:41,507
to hear him scream when you tell him.
408
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:42,508
Deal.
409
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,026
Hi. I'm an engineer.
410
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:04,530
Code blue.
411
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,031
I repeat, code blue.
412
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,541
Yes, a company jet. What else?
413
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,042
Hmm. Did I say a llama?
414
00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:18,544
Yes.
415
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:22,047
Did I say a company jet for my llama?
416
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:23,549
Would you consider sharing your company jet
417
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:24,550
with your llama?
418
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:26,552
Share a jet with a llama?
419
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,053
That's crazy talk.
420
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,555
I'm outta here.
421
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:30,556
I'm so sorry.
422
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,558
Yes, yes. Jet for your llama.
423
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:35,561
Stop moving your head around so much.
424
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:38,063
Well, the paperwork is done.
425
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:40,065
You're my assistant now.
426
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,066
What?
427
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,568
Read and weep.
428
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:48,574
No!
429
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:53,579
Who wants to start the weekly status reports?
430
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,080
I will.
431
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,082
This week, I discovered a glorious world
432
00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:58,584
outside this company,
433
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,586
a world where engineers are treated like gods.
434
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,087
No, you didn't.
435
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:03,589
Yes, I did.
436
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:05,591
Despite what you read in the company newsletter,
437
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:08,093
engineers are in high demand at other companies.
438
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,094
No, they aren't.
439
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:10,596
I would have taken another job,
440
00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:13,098
but negotiations broke down over one point.
441
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:14,600
They expected you to work?
442
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,601
Exactly.
443
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,603
Fortunately, I was too clever
444
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,105
to fall for the old bait-and-switch,
445
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,607
but I kept the llama.
446
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,609
And what is your name again?
447
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,612
It's, uh... Allen.
448
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:27,613
Allen.
449
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,114
Okay, who's next?
450
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:30,616
I spent the entire week
451
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:32,618
trying to manage my new assistant.
452
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,119
Thursday, for example,
453
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,621
was consumed by our debate
454
00:17:35,621 --> 00:17:37,122
on how bad a haircut has to be
455
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:39,625
before you can take a sick day to recover.
456
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,627
I contend it has to sever an artery.
457
00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:43,128
I spent the week plotting
458
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,630
to make Asok my assistant.
459
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,132
My status does not matter.
460
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,134
I am only an assistant.
461
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:51,637
So let me get this straight.
462
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,640
None of you dad-blasted flibbertigibbets
463
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,141
did any work this week?
464
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:59,144
Don't tell me you're jumping on that bandwagon too.
465
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:00,646
Next week, I'll get a lot done...
466
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:02,147
now that I have
467
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:04,149
the best assistant in the department.
468
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:05,651
I don't know about that.
469
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,152
My assistant is plenty capable.
470
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:08,654
[SNEEZES]
471
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:11,657
Your ASSISTANT IS PATHETIC.
472
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,158
He is not pathetic.
473
00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:15,160
My assistant can beat your assistant
474
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,163
at anything anywhere!
475
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:19,665
Just name the time and place.
476
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,166
Is this really a wise idea?
477
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,668
What did I tell you before?
478
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:25,671
Everything I do is a reflection on you.
479
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:27,673
Maybe you'd like to have a little wager.
480
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:30,175
Maybe I would.
481
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:42,187
Two assistants go in,
482
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:45,190
but only one comes out unmarked.
483
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,692
I'm afraid.
484
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:48,193
If you win this,
485
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:49,695
you can have the piano in the office.
486
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,196
I don't play.
487
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:52,698
You know the rules.
488
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,208
You realize I never even wanted
489
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,710
to have an assistant.
490
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:05,711
Neither did I,
491
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,212
but I couldn't stand the thought
492
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:08,714
of you getting a leg up on me.
493
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:09,715
I'm loathe to admit it,
494
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:10,716
but I felt the same way.
495
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:12,217
I guess we were both pretty petty.
496
00:19:12,217 --> 00:19:13,719
I guess we were.
497
00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:14,720
Oh, well.
498
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:15,721
Begin!
499
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:25,731
I will mark you so bad!
500
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,232
Not if I mark you first!
501
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:43,749
So how do you like being a manager?
502
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,250
Well, I accomplished nothing
503
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:48,253
except toying with the lives of innocent people
504
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,254
for my own amusement.
505
00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:51,757
That's my favorite part too.
506
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:54,259
Could I just go back to being an engineer?
507
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:55,761
I think I've made my point
508
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,763
that engineers have a career path.
509
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,264
There was a point to all this?
510
00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:00,265
How about that?
511
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:05,270
You call yourself an assistant?
512
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,772
You're fired!
513
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,775
Go back to being an intern.
514
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,778
Oh, thank you.
515
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,279
I think we all learned
516
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,781
a valuable lesson this week.
517
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:16,782
Not me.
518
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:19,284
I learned not to keep a llama in my cubicle.
519
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:21,286
You mean that new stench isn't you?
520
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:24,790
No, we learned that it's not perks or promotions
521
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,291
that keep us at our jobs.
522
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,794
It's loyalty and love of our work.
523
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:31,296
The passion that we as engineers
524
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:32,798
approach each day with.
525
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,299
Dilbert, Dilbert.
526
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,801
Uh... yes?
527
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,803
I appreciate your heartfelt sentiments.
528
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:40,806
And, with that in mind, I'm decreasing your pay,
529
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,809
cutting your benefits, and increasing your hours.
530
00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:45,811
Everybody, back to work!
531
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,312
That's exactly my point.
532
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:48,814
I don't care.
533
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,816
I don't CARE.
534
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,317
I really don't care.
535
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:59,324
BOSS: We have another security problem.
536
00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:03,829
This time, an employee named Allen.
537
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,330
I didn't catch
538
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,833
the last name.
539
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,836
Have everyone named Allen killed immediately.
540
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:11,837
Right away, sir.
541
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:12,838
Wait a minute!
542
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:14,840
My name is Allen!
543
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:23,348
Did anyone else just lose their appetite?
544
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,350
No, no. Not me.
545
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:26,852
Absolutely not.
546
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,353
Me neither.
547
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,364
[music]
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